Update

Ok. I forgot to write the last two nights. Maybe it's because I was extra tired at night because of my caffeine withdrawals. But that's a lie. I just forgot to write. It's Thursday, and I'm writing on my lunch break.

It has been harder to concentrate at work the last few days. I don't know if coffee necessarily helped me concentrate, though. Sometimes the caffeine just made me want to think about more interesting things than work and/or stare at pretty colored things.  The headaches have been assuaged a little bit, mostly by drinking tea. Lots of tea. Olivia suggested drinking London Fogs, which are mixtures of Earl gray, hot milk, and vanilla. They are super delicious, even if the baristas at the coffee shop have never heard of them and secretly (or not so secretly) judge me for ordering something so extravagant. Whatever, it's my body. And my body, I am finding out, really likes tea. Tea doesn't give you the same caffeine high as coffee, but at least you don't feel as sick or sticky after drinking it. I do miss sipping coffee and then immediately seeing nothing but absolute beauty in the universe. Guess I'll have to look for other sources of inspiration.

The early morning train rides to work haven't been nearly as trying as I expected. It's now sunny in the mornings, which helps. Tea helps, too. I really like tea. I've essentially just traded one addiction for a slightly milder one. But tea doesn't stain your teeth. That's good.

Last night at Trader Joe's Sam picked up some African coffee. I confirmed Sam's suspicion that Ethiopia did indeed pertain to the African continent. And this morning he confirmed with me that said Ethiopian coffee was indeed 'dank.' I was going to have a sip, but the coffee was too hot and I had to rush out the door. I don't know if having an innocent sip counts as falling of the wagon. If it does then I survived by a hair.

My first Monday without coffee

It wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but I think that was due in large part to my weekend spent in mental preparation. I wasn't able to concentrate extremely well at work, which is probably more a result of spending all day on a boring aspect of a project rather than coffee withdrawals.

However, there was one point in the day when existence did seem to end as I knew it. I was staring at the off white of my iMac...and for a few fleeting moments everything became that shade of white. The walls, my desk, the inside of my head. I felt as though I was staring into an all white void, and slowly becoming part of it.

Like a toy machine claw coming to yank me out of my glass case, my roommate Sam brought me back to reality with a text about how mean people at the zoo are. While he was there painting (I think?), he witnessed a dude take a flash photograph point blank in a gibbon's face. Zoos are a great place to restore your faith in humanity. 

While the day went smoother than I expected, I still can't avoid the fact that my afternoon crash involved an almost complete letting go of my grasp on reality.

Maybe on Tuesday I'll let go all the way.

One weekend down

I've survived an entire weekend without coffee. Saturday night my headache got a little bit worse. Luckily, it was one of my roommate's birthday (she missed her quincinera, so we threw her one last night...eight years late), so the beers and pleasant company helped ease the head pains.

Today was a lazy Sunday. Slept late, didn't do much. Which makes it easy to function without coffee. Tomorrow is Monday, and white tea will be my only friend as a I play in the workaday world.

We'll see what happens.

The first 24 hours

Yesterday at work I drank about five cups of coffee. I usually don't drink  that much a day, but the night before I only got three hours of sleep. So the extra coffee was a must if I was going to survive eight hours staring at a computer screen. Around 3 pm, as I was trying to concentrate on my work and not get distracted by the endless tentacles of the internet, a small thought crossed my mind. Somehow it occurred to that me giving up coffee would be a good idea. The thought process was as fast as that. No deliberation, no weighing of pros and cons. No thought of slowly trying to ween myself off. Just quit. A rashly made decision which will no doubt have tremendous repercussions on my life.

This blog will be about those repercussions. Today is Saturday, and I have had a slight headache, but nothing too bad. I got to sleep in, and didn't have to work. All I have done today is bum around Chicago with my friends. An easy day, and the slight headache doesn't affect me too much. Monday morning will be rather unpleasant. I will scowl at everyone on the train. And I will not be able to concentrate well at work. I will be an unpleasant person. Hopefully Sunday provides me with some good mental preparation and relaxation so I can survive the working world without caffeine. 

This is going to hurt.